Saturday, July 25, 2009

Words Fail, Music Speaks

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent”-Victor Hugo




"Words fail. Music Speaks." That phrase resounds in me, reverberating, carving a space in my head. "Words fail. Music speaks." A strange sentiment for a deaf woman to have emblazoned on a small painting above her desk. There are days when I read about yet another writer’s soundtrack, the musical inspiration that played in the background as they fed the Muse within them and penned thought to keyboard, imagination to monitor backlit in soft white. For a moment I envy them, I ache for that backdrop, that cadence of music, vocalizing emotions while I weave words. It’s folly to lose myself in the "what if’s", and more folly to believe that expressing emotions is based soley on what one is able to hear.

When all else fails, the lid of my laptop closes and I hit the open road by car. There, I have a venue to by-pass my inept hearing. I can crank the stereo and feel the music, jumping off door to windshield, floorboard to dash, thumping, vibrating. The very air hums, the pulse bathing my skin and kissing my fingertips. I’m ensconced in the music, a passenger in the tempo, feeling the road move beneath the tires, the dips and cracks in the road dance with the rumba, the boogie, the foxtrot, the tango, the salsa heart of me. It’s all there, every echo and nuance of the music. I almost hear it more than I feel it.

Now, a few hours of sound vibrations can wash over me. Never enough. The need to write gets its hooks in my psyche, pulling me back to the keyboard, to play prose with my fingers....What is that in the background? Silence. Memory recalls pieces of song and music, lyrics come to me like broken bits of poetry. My brain fights to remember, pushing fragments of songs to the front burner and hoping it will suffice as a snack to entice my mind enough to enter the story, struggling for dominance in a brain soon overwhelmed. It’s a rarity to have the whole tune I want to soothe and inspire my senses for the dish I wish to serve. Sometimes frustration wins and the lid to the laptop closes once more. Out the door with a hyper-vigilant friend on a leash I go, to the woods I go, whispering a prayer to whatever deity favors a writer: "Please, let this trek feed my prose...."

Feather light wisps of breeze, varying hues of green thread in and out of my visual perception. The canopy overhead cools and heats up as we go beneath shaded trees. Silence. The light plays a simmering dance across a black gloss of canine hair. The wind bends the stalks of the bamboo. The grass plays with my feet, not unlike a maestro’s baton, as an opal butterfly flitters from leaf to leaf, orchestrating the woodland chorus. A cat prowls in the underbrush. My laughter echoes, pulsating beneath my heartbeat, a chuff from the wonder dog Pickles, the vibrato of life around me. Thump-thump-ratta-thump-thump-shhwick-shhwick-tumthrum-tumthrum-wee-whip-snap! Breathe in, breathe out. It is the new soundtrack that plays in my life, perhaps more enriched. The world has gone quiet, and now, because silence was never meant to be so silent, I hear and feel and see and express a different kind of music.

Peace and Love.

-Indigo


Lyrics to 1000 Beautiful Things by Annie Lennox

35 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post. Thank you.

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  2. "Sometimes the world has to go quiet for you to truly hear." Wow. What a profound sentence. Truly amazing. I loved your imagery of the soundtrack to your days. Beautiful.

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  3. That is one of the reasons we love our little corner of heaven, Nutwood, because we get to listen to the silence of nature, and that rejuvenates us :o)

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  4. beautiful writing, indigo. thank you.

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  5. How refreshing, to read from someone who might understand. I am not deaf, I have played classical music for much of my life. Friends expect me to possess large collections of Music CD's. I have mabye 3 or 4, plus some Beethoven Quartets.

    I never listen to these. For all that music and much more is in my head...almost constantly.

    In a typical morning, Prayer girl will ask me "What's playing today?" And I might answer, "Dvorak New World", or "Beethoven Ninth" or a Mozart Piano Trio, or Shostakovitch, or Schubert...and I 'hear' the greatest music all day long--out of memory. Pleasant memory.

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  6. "Sometimes the world has to go quiet for you to truly hear."

    Such brilliance and so very profound.

    I might not have been there when you experienced all of this, but after reading it, but I saw every bit of it through your words.

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  7. I can see you and Pickles out enjoying the sounds of the world. You put it to works perfectly. Love the song. I love singers necks, so muscular.

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  8. I have read and read this several times over the last day and a half, and I can only read and feel the emotion well up in me.

    This is a very powerful story.

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  9. Sometimes I wish for the attendant cacophony to be gone, but I realize it is so very much different when it is not a choice.

    For quite a while now I've been reading just a few blogs, then marking all read each day......so I didn't realize you'd moved.
    ~Mary

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  10. I think your perspective on what you sense when in a car with eyes closed helps us understand why babies love riding in cars... their senses are stimulated just as they are also lulled to sleep. There is comfort in those familiar vibrations. I like hanging my arm out the window and feeling the lift of the air, another stirring sense for one who has flying dreams. Very descriptive post, Indigo. bea

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  11. It's great that you "hear" by the feelings, the sensations of the world around you. There is so much minutiae in everyday life that just breezes by most of us.

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  12. Indigo you have such a wonderful way with words and a good outlook. I had a neighbor who had a daughter who was deaf. She never had fear of hitting the road. I think that was great for her and is great for you.

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  13. annie lennox has magical powers. she walked into the cafe i used to work at one time and i swear the air vibrated around her.

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  14. "Sometimes the world has to go quiet for you to truly hear."

    How true! How true! That is when I get answers.

    Hugs,
    Ann

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  15. Annie Lennox is one of my favorites, especially when driving. She always let's the emotions and feelings flow. I have SO missed your writing, my friend!

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  16. Dear one awesome! Thanks as always for your stories. Annie L. is an interesting singer! Blessings dear!

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  17. Wow..you are such a powerful blogger with your words-end silence.Thank you for sharing,Indigo.

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  18. I like that you have a different sound track. And you explain how that works in your life so well.

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  19. Beautiful.

    I just love your writing.

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  20. My Dear Indigo,
    This is a lovely post.

    I was sending you good thoughts the other day. You are loved.

    SB

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  21. i fall short when i say this is a Magnificent piece...hugz!

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  22. "It’s folly to lose myself in the ‘what if’s’, more so to deny inscribing emotions based on hearing abilities alone."

    Love that line.

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  23. I'm wondering what it is you put on when you go for your rides.
    I love your honesty. So pure, just wonderful to share in.

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  24. I think your "Sometimes the world has to go quiet for you to truly hear." is one of the best lines, quotes I've heard in a long time. I love that and it caused me to pause and think about what you said. That's what it's all about and you nailed it.
    Lisa

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  25. Both writing and rteading are best done in silence. Good writing speaks but also listens. Great writing sings. It's in the silence that we hear the words and music of the writer's heart.

    DB

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  26. I am so sorry for not be here sooner. I never check anything on my blog, but this morning something told me to look. So here I am!
    Kelli

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  27. Really well written coupled with an appropriate song...Bravo.

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  28. Indigo ... I was there in the woods with you. Thank you.

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  29. Hi Indigp, here you are. Didn't know you moved. Loved this post.
    *** Coy ***

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  30. Oh how i've missed your posts. I must say Annie L is a fave of mine. I love how you relate to songs...and most everything else.

    Love,
    Nancy

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  31. Starting at the beginning, at least this is as far back as your blog will let me go. At times I do exactly what you did, get in my car and turn the music up; I have to turn it up because of hearing damage, although not as bad as yours, and feel! And the old-timers didn't have these magic things called a smart phones, never have to worry about finding a meeting again. I have been a friend of bills off and on for about seventeen years….

    Wander

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    Replies
    1. I created this blog explicitly to write about my writing journey. It curtails a lot when it comes to my personal life in general. I had a blog before this one that was more open and revealing, but alas a friend of mine advised that I should tone it down for the publishers...*shrugs*

      I am an open book though, if you ever have any questions feel free to email. Some things I tend to be more private about, you never know until you ask.

      The weather is warming up and the mountains are calling, need to find some back roads and jam a few tunes with the windows down. *Smiles* (Hugs)Indigo

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Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.