Monday, September 21, 2009

A Writer Writes

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy


I’m looking up at the rust colored seam, the stigmata left from the rain that poured down my living room ceiling last night. I wasn’t going to post about that ceiling.

Today’s post was supposed to be about my side kick and writing partner – Pickles. I had proof in hand on my digital camera to show just how helpful she can be.

With my deafness, visual is the next best thing to listening. Visuals freeze and save moments, settings, movements, expressions. I can take my time studying images. Images call forth words, words that I use, words that comfort, words that show, words that tell a story.

But I can’t upload the pictures.

Who would have thought dropping the gadget in the dog’s water bowl by mistake would be a problem?

So what does a writer (specifically me) do when she gets in a foul mood? I write.

Bits of angst drip on the page. Words boil. Distress is fuel. I use words instead of visuals to describe what I want you to see:

A silly grin from a canine friend lets me know that under no circumstance do I dare settle down until I’ve paid her fee, her due, her right. A wet nose sits wedged between my laptop and my lap, making sure I don’t forget. She’s there if I need her and I am to be there should she need me. That’s the pact. Working dog, time piece, companion, a warm body that takes up 2/3rds of everything, leaving me the rest. Reach out at any given moment, she says, and feel the movement of my breathing. Standing on all four legs on the couch she tells me it’s time. She reminds. It’s time. Her breathing allows life to move beneath my fingers before words move from fingertips to key strokes to screen. She breathes life. That’s her story. That’s what she writes. Compared to her, no foul mood, no rusted ceiling, no busted camera is much, in comparison - at all.

A writer writes.



  1. Goodness, reading your angst released sum of but your words soothe the soul no matter what is being expressed. a connectedness in recognition of self and others. Thanks! hugz!

  2. My Bandon would be very jealous to know you let Pickles on the couch with you. Sorry about the camera, and the other things!!! Nothing worse then spending money on things you either 1) accidently ruined or 2)can't exactly enjoy like an exhaust system.

    Write. Write. Write.

    Like you, it's what can always change my day, help my day, bring peace to my day.

  3. Writers write--And you my dear, are a writer!

    I could feel that same sense of transference in how I deal with my own troublesome moments. Sherlock Holmes played the violin...As a matter of fact, so did Bill W.

    And yes, so do I.

    What a wonderful outlet for us all, to have an art form with which to create--or recreate!

    God bless you, Indigo

    (My deaf-blind father used to put his hands on the body of my violin, and he could then "hear" through the vibrations, some sort of changes--notes?)

  4. Sorry dear. Your recent activities sure do seem akin to mine...(as in crappie).
    I just know things will be looking up for the both of us. ((hugs))

  5. yes indigo, write! its sooooo good to get rid of the anger and when you look again, it's not anger at all that you have written. but a piece of beauty in your life...

  6. writing releases something, allows it to safely come to the surface.

    i still get pissy when i have to pay the rent and do the wash even though i've been doing both more than half my life now....

    the joys of being a 'grown-up' seem to have exchanged places with the responsibilities, which usually equate to throwing money at a problem to fix it ASAP.


  7. Indigo- I love the passion that drives your keyboard and glad to know Pickles is well. ~rick

  8. Your writings are amazing and gets a lot out. Thanks for sharing! Blessings.

  9. Writing always sets me free. From the demons of others, and the demons of myself.


  10. Yes, a Writer writes, and finds inspiration where she needs to. I'm so glad to see you've found inspiration in adversity - but saddened to see the adversity you're facing. I wish I could help.

  11. Beautiful...

    So sorry about the camera... maybe after it dries overnight?

    be well...

  12. Pickles sounds like a great companion. I hope to see photos of her eventually. Enjoy the writing.

  13. That sounds like exactly what a dogs purpose is for. Zoey sits with her head on my lap as I type. Warm soft breath. Sorry about the camera.

  14. Bits of angst drip on the page. Words boil. Distress is fuel. I use words instead of visuals to describe what I want you to see:

    I wonder why that is, that discomfort makes some writing flow endlessly where a good mood brings the sound of creaky pipes and a uneven flow?

    Hope you and everyone are doing well.

  15. i like Pickles and Pickle's story a lot....

  16. There are at least 2 obligations for the writer. 1, I must be honest. It must be of and in my own journey, private, secret and courageous. I must reveal things to myself and keep the words coming even if I'm frightened. 2. It must make sense. No matter how irrational real life may be or how impossible it is to harmonize, the reader must know the words won't crack under his feet. The madness must be kept on a leash.

    You taught me these things.

    I take it Pickles has had some formal training.

  17. Thank goodness for those who depend on us for so much...they put everything into perspective. Hugs, Beth

  18. You are such an awesome writer! I can see, hear & feel everything through your words.

    Thank God for Pickles. What an amazing friend!

  19. Hi Indigo!

    Aren't our animal family members wonderful! They can make a bad day great. Good to hear from you! I am so glad you have Pickles :)

  20. I love you, Indigo. Beautiful post. Animals are such a gift to us.

    I also really like your new banner.


  21. Beautiful.

    I honestly don't know where I'd be right now without the ability to write. The thought alone sends a panicky wave through me.

  22. The muses always show when things are at their worst. Writing only touches the soul when it's a catharsis.

    Beautifully expressed.

  23. Writing is the best therapy sometimes for me as well.. I'm glad you have this outlet and write whatever. I feel censored at the moment because I have this 6'3 man child (step-son) who has nothing better to do than read my blogs and disect them. I may not write for awhile until he can find something better to do with his time while he is away in college. Pretty pathetic, hey?

  24. How lovely to have found your writing blog via writerquake (Lydia) and reading your beautiful expressive words really affected me.


    Often, though I have a voice, I have felt that I have no voice..and hence my writing is my outlet to let out that voice. I love the way you write and your "voice"(soul) is heard in your writing and well understood in your blog.

    Your dog sounds like quite the companion and to be there for you also. I know what you mean about pets taking up the time, as we need to take care of their "needs" also..but is it worth it? I'm sure you think the answer would be "yes" same as I. I have a cat and am disabled..she lets me know when things are "happening"...glad to have her with faithful companion...but like you said it is work to take care of them..well worth it to me.

    I know what it's like to have to avoid smokers really affects me also. People smoke outside the apartment complex here as they can't smoke inside, and I have to walk the opposite direction of them when I go outside as they all stand around taking their "drags"..near the door. They make mean faces at me, but I'm sure they know why I walk the other direction. Ah, smokers and their poor kids...what shall we do? just the best we can.

    Stay as well as you can...and I hope your doing better each day..I do know it is hard.



  25. Writing does wonders.
    God Bless

  26. i should have this tattoed on me.
    "a writer writes"
    tis a good mantra.

  27. ((((((((Hugs))))))) For you and Pickles.


  28. Hello Stranger! Boy, have I missed you!. I saw your comment on another fellow journalers page and hey presto! here I am! lol hardly rocket science for me but It took me a while to find you. I am so pleased you & your darling Pickle are still well. Sorry about the camera, my luck of late has been something of a nitemare! lol. As I always believe though, the tides of time always turn, and for the better at some point or another. Lovely to finally find you. Love Pam.xx

  29. I am so like this when I am filled with UGH! I write my best...


  30. I can feel your love for Pickles in your writing. Hope your camera may be okay after it dries out.

  31. Well, expensive as they can be, cameras are replaceable... Pickles is not replaceable. Take it from someone who accidentally dropped his cell phone in the toilet!!! I had to go through the traditional "death stages"

    -shock and denial... "I can't believe it happened"
    -anger... "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr"
    -bitterness "If only etc..."
    -acceptance "okay NOW WHAT?"

    eventually, you move on (also known as busting your butt to save up for another one)... and someday down the road, you WILL look back at this and smile or even laugh about it...

  32. Hello dear friend. I always love reading your posts.

    Writing soothes the soul.

    Keep doing it.

    Hugs, Rose

  33. Oh wow, how did I miss this one. You go girl, you write. Blessings.

  34. Your writing is always so refreshing to me! I loved that quote, too.

    I havent heard from you in weeks. I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with you. I hope all is well. drop me a line whenever you get a chance. take care.

  35. Hi Pickles... I'm sorry your mom's camera fell in your water bowl...
    Have a good week... :)

  36. One thing you said has really stuck in my mind all morning...about visual being the next best thing to listening. I think in some aspects, you probably see a lot more in life that the typical person doesn't. Literally and figuratively.

    You ARE a writer with a powerful gift. I need not have written that though for you to know it. Your words, often times, are cathartic for me. I don't often leave comments because lately, "using my words" has escaped me. However, know that when YOU "use your words" it's like a balm to a rather bruised soul that happens to reside in Maine.


  37. You were right to write when you felt things were wrong!

  38. Writing has been my saving grace these last two years!
    I am so grateful I found my words, they allow me to express the inner...inner...everything, and nothing! I am glad you write. that is my third today so no more for now I'll be back later Indigo have a good night!



Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.