Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Time Thug

“The intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves.” – John Dryden

Photobucket

Sometimes I get lost in ambiance. I’m cocooned in my own safe world of oblivion and forget not all is as it seems.

As a writer I should know better. It’s there in the pages of my writing, all the malice and splendor of existential human traits. Still, some small part of me and I believe all of us knows that other world exist – the rampant ignorance and disrespect for life. We just don’t want it to touch us, stain us with its residual tar of bitter noxious taint.

Ignorance is bliss, or is it?

Wednesday evening a thug, a disreputable denizen of wanton moral standards thought it would be amusing to bust out the back window of my car. Those last sentiments are putting it lightly. I’ll bite back the curses of abject hatred I had for whoever did this.

Nothing was stolen. As horrible as it may sound, I would have perhaps understood if they had been a thief instead of a mere vandalizing thug. At least in my mind a thief would have had some purpose, given some kind of meaning to their actions. Instead I’m left to wonder at the cruelty of such an act that had to be for no other reason than malice, petty vindictiveness in a show of bravado.

I’ve run the gamut of emotions. A stranger breeched my safe haven and made me question myself and those around me. First there was inconsolable anger, foul ugly visions of what I would have loved to do to this person. Then came a sleepless night, followed the next day in the secure knowledge my insurance would cover it.

Sounds easy enough, cumbersome, bothersome, and troublesome, but easily fixed – right? Nothing in life is ever that straightforward. I was left to ponder, how was I responsible for someone else’s vulgarity in my life.

Me? How could the fault lay with me? How was this responsibility mine? Did I leave myself vulnerable?

I live on a dead end street, the only house beside the woods. There is a path that meanders through those woods which would make an easy getaway. My driveway is hidden beside the house, right before the wooded lot and it’s not visible at night. There are no motion detectors or enough light to see an intruder. So was this an open invitation to disrupt my life?

Two days later living with the inconvenience of changed plans and little to no mobility due to traveling with a busted back window, I’m no longer angry or puzzled. I recognize the vandal for what he is – a time thug.

That’s all he accomplished - earning a descriptive moniker.

The window gets replaced. I’m still able to move forward with a slight change of plans for the weekend. And I’ve decided this alone wasn’t worth any changes to my home. A motion detector would frighten off the numerous deer who visit my property (Not much to weigh there, a blinding light shining in my windows or a chance to watch a small herd of deer).

So what changed? Life. It’s too precious to waste any of it on someone hell bent on stealing my time and ambiance. Some day they too will have worked hard and given of themselves for something of worth and someone will do the same to them. We all earn our lessons at one point or another.

Thank you time thug, you succeeded in enriching my life experience to feed the muse in me. Don’t be surprised if someday you play a part in something I’ve written. Just as I have my place in the world, so do you. Objects are easily replaced. Peace of mind is for those who live fully. A reminder that ignorance was never bliss, just a postponement of the reality that surrounds us all.

Writing material comes from the most unlikely places. Amusing is it not? - Indigo

Picture derives from here

32 comments:

  1. Any time one is vandalized, it absolutely feels like an invasion of our personal space. After we go through the gambit of emotions, we are left with two choices, fret over what could be, or shrug and go on with life. Glad you found inspiration :o)

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  2. It's hard not to let something so ugly and senseless stain you. Sometimes I feel better knowing the same or worse will inevitably find its way to someone who creates ugliness, but most times I let it eat at me. You're dealing with this very well, much better than I, but then you have a beautiful spirit ~

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  3. Annoying to say the least, Indigo. Aptly put, a time thief. The trick is not to let him also become a spirit thief.

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  4. Hi Indigo,
    I know exactly how you feel ... and you're right: The vandal was a time thug. That's what always irritates me the most, that the victim is always the one who is inconvenienced in a case like this.
    Best,
    Marty

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  5. Indigo, I'm sorry to hear about this happening to you.
    It's a sad fact that no matter where a person lives,there is no guarantee that you will be immune
    to senseless acts of crime.
    I'm glad you aren't letting this wear you down..
    Hugs,
    Sheri

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  6. It is impossible not to feel violated by such an act. It steals something from your soul that you never get back.

    Hope you are doing well, and have a joyful weekend.

    xoxo

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  7. Thank goodness no one was hurt, what an irritating inconvenience..
    Take care
    BM

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  8. time thug indeed, yet the change is brought about... sorry to hear it happened to you though.

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  9. I'm glad you came up with a good way to look at it and accept it. Time thief is a good moniker.

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  10. I am so sorry that happened to you. I can never understand it when things like that happen, what kind of person finds that a form of amusement. Pond scum my friend. Hugs to you.

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  11. I don't know, really. You could've unknowingly contributed to the thugs' deed but your intention wasn't malicious so it shouldn't matter. Things that remind me of how vulnerable we are sometimes can strengthen. Your own life could tell you that, eh? Love <3

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  12. NOTE on your last comment: On being the dominant species we have more responsibility, I'd say. But we don't use it. Maybe your phrase of "dominating" is more accurate? Having the ability to think in the abstract is supposed to raise our intentions and acts above all other animals but you turn around and we're bombing space.

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  13. My back window was busted out a few months ago, by nature. Apparently the glass was very old and the warm air on the inside of the car and the cold air on the outside combined to cause one big mess for me.

    Inspiration does indeed come from the unlikeliest of places, and I'm so glad you articulate it so well.

    ((hugs))

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  14. big hugs, my friend. i'm glad that you are safe.

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  15. Vandalism is such a violation of one's space - the anger and frustration one feels, as a victim, is natural and predictable. It's good that you've found the handle on this - you are now, as always, one amazing woman.

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  16. I love how you take this negative, harrowing, experience and turn it on its head. This "time thug" has provoked you out of your (and all of our) complacency, has reminded you (and, again, us all) of darker truths and has awakened some creativity in you. There is something quiet and inspiring here. That even our bad experiences are fertile ground for professional and personal growth. Your defiance here is compelling.

    Thank you for yet another insightful post.

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  17. Oh that totally stinks. I know what you mean about safety feeling violated. Not even safety, but human decency needing to be questioned.

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  18. I know the feeling of being violated by vandals. This last spring some one took a knife to the top of my convertable and slashed it on the right and left side. I have never done anything to anyone to deserve such treatment. I cried. Unfortunatley this was not covered by my car insurance. They will reap what they sow who ever they are.Life marches on :)

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  19. I am so sorry this happened to you. I had my car broken into once, and I was shocked at how violated I felt despite the degrees of separation.

    On another note, what a lovely post and gorgeous photo you put to the experience, Indigo. Talk about making the best out of an ugly situation and sharing that view with the world. Brava!

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  20. What a nice way to find your way back to where you would rather be. I think of it a gift to whoever, whatever, that takes up residence in the block of time they consume.

    It took me a while before I could understand that it was 'theft' of time, but I want to believe that I get it now. Rather than fight and ultimately giving in to a battle I can't win, I go with it. Can't let them win!

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  21. Yep,file that one under thug and move on.You've got a great head on those beautiful and creative shoulders of yours,Indigo.
    We writers take every morsal of experience in and write it out eventually-and we know to never let anyone steal away our cocoons.

    I just LOVE your sharing.

    xo

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  22. I'm so sorry that someone did that to you & your property. I'm sure that they will be paid back in some way for that senseless act.

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  23. There is no shield from "rampant ignorance and disrespect." I feel our country has swung away from a moral center, a compass, a guide. I don't know what to call it. What you describe is commonplace where I live. Therein is the real ugliness.

    Nothing to be done, but turn it around to the positive, for sure. And to try to live one's own life without ignorance and disrespect.

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  24. hi beautiful...
    quick question...can i have your email? you can shoot one over to me at krista.knott@gmail.com.
    thank you, pretty lady.

    oh, and as far as this time thug goes: it's such a violation. our car was broken into for our stereo (which, incidentally, didn't work) when we lived in our old neighborhood. we sort of weren't surprised. we lived in an area where this was de riguer. but to be the only house on a deadend street? that scares me. to think someone is so brazen. *sigh*
    i'm glad it was only a window. so glad.

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  25. You're right. Time thug. Time to ponder it, tell to friends, go about fixing it, making you think of the world as slightly less beautiful maybe than before...
    taking time. away. from. other. stuff.

    time thugs!

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  26. I wish you a nice Thanksgiving in spite of this ugly bump in the road. I do know how you feel as my purse was taken from me in my own drive-way a few years ago.

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  27. Looks like a turkey came to visit a little early before thanksgiving. But I'm glad first and foremost, that you're safe. That's most important. Windows can be replaced. But there is only one of YOU. And I'm glad that you are safe and loved by those that are there for you. Don't let Pickles get all scraps at Thanksgiving dinner... ;)

    Happy Thanksgiving Indigo,

    Mik

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  28. I have a feeling that someone who smashes windows is feeling pretty unhappy about their lives. I'm sorry that you (and your car) had to be part of such a senseless act and hope that you are having a relaxing Thanksgiving.

    And take every bit of inspiration you can out of that time thug.

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  29. Happy Thanksgiving Indigo! Hope your day was relaxing and filled with peace!
    Always in my thoughts,
    Sheri

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  30. I'm so sorry to read about this, Indigo, and admire your totally sane handling of it. It can happen anywhere, and you can only protect yourself so much before you're living in a prison. It's just not worth it.

    I hope your Thanksgiving was good. And I'm really glad I found you again!

    Ben
    http://ben-better-left-unsaid.blogspot.com/

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  31. Funny I'm reading this now...

    We got vandalized just recently. Someone threw a pumpkin -- uncarved -- at our front door with lots of force. The mess took hours to clean up. It was just so senseless and stupid.

    I'm sorry that happened to you.

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  32. I like that you could turn this into something positive. Time thug is a good name.

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Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.