Friday, April 9, 2010

Escaping the Asylum of my Mind

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise”
- John Lennon

Photobucket

Steeped neck deep in the latest draft I’m writing, I glanced up at the news just in time to see the close captioning cross the screen, “By Friday we should return to reality.”

“Hah!” I laughed. “Not anytime soon I’m afraid,” came out in whispered sarcasm.

The return to reality sentiment came by way of my local weatherman, in reference to the 20 degree rise in temperature from the norm.

I think any writer that dips their toe in the river of fiction, can honestly say there is a very thin line between surrealism and what life seems so thickly steeped in - reality. I know it’s not a far stretch for me. Perhaps its easier having found myself submerged in the silence of my deafness, or maybe I’m speaking for a larger share of writers than I realize.

The only way I hear my voice in this deaf world is upstairs, in my head space. I also get the lovely honor of sharing that head space with multiple characters who tend to be a little on the dark side. It may surprise quite a few of my readers, how effortlessly I write from an ugly perspective, compared to the delightful descriptive prose I often lend here.

Why is that?

I’m willing to delve into the frightening in order to discover the beauty hidden within the repulsive. Sometimes the most terrifying things in life are that which you can’t see. In that sense, I have a head full of broken, startling, horrid characters roaming about. They keep company with resilient, strong beautiful spirits. It’s an uneasy balance of both. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Such is life.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
(Blackbird lyrics by the Beatles).



Picture from here.

32 comments:

  1. Another great post Indigo!

    The unknown is always the worst for me. My imagination takes over & creates the worst scenarios.

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  2. One of my favorite songs of all time!

    "I’m willing to delve into the frightening in order to discover the beauty hidden within the repulsive." BRAVO Indigo. Me too, me too. Dark and twisty is my default, but I crawl, on hand and knee, to otherwise.

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  3. reality is horribly over rated anyway.

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  4. Wonderful post with interesting insight into your working mind! It relates to two things concerning my husband, of all things...
    1)During the winter months he learned Blackbird on the guitar. He said it would take a year to get it right, but it only took him months. He's really got it down and it's a treat to hear live in my living room!
    2)At dinner last night he made a really violent comment in reference to something that we had seen on tv. I recoiled. He noted that his mind goes to the dark side on occasion and I thought, but did not say, that he should try writing.

    Is your blog by invitation only? I forget. Would like to put you on my blogroll but .....

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  5. Blackbird is one of my favorites ... so many layers of meaning!
    Best,
    Marty

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  6. Love the picture. We all can relate from the dark side at times, the key is to live in the light.

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  7. darkness leads to light... or so i believe anyway.

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  8. I agree the blending of our darkness with our softer side can bring out wonderful things. Sometimes coming out of the darkness can be challenging though.
    xxx
    Lisa

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  9. I have the exact same thing happening my head and wouldn't have it any other way. The light and the darkness complement one another and need each other. I find it very difficult to believe that other people in the world do not have any darkness in their heads, it is necessary for us to feel that emotion in order to fully embrace life.

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  10. Indigo, I LOVE your thoughts, as expressed through your words, your wonderful talent for prose. And I just don't get here that often.

    But I am again rewarded tonight, just before hitting the sack. Goodnight, Indian princess! And thank you.

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  11. The "real life" is much better lived for having visited the realms of the unreal.

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  12. Blackbird is probably one of the most beautiful songs in the history of songs. I absolutely love it. And you know, my friend, I love you.

    xo

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  13. The unknown is always the worst for me. My imagination takes over & creates the worst scenarios.


    I have to say I agree with Jemi Fraser. The unknown is the worst for me too. My mind can come up with bad stuff.

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  14. I love it! I love how you weave it all together keeping the mystery afloat and so much more...

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  15. The novel "cruddy" is full of very ugly imagry, but it's written so beautifully. Skilled, crafted writing is beautiful even when the subject matter isn't.
    xx

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  16. As a fellow rafter on the river of fiction, I really loved this post. I understand what it's like to have a multiplicity of characters and a chorus of voices in my head.

    Such is fiction. Such is life.

    Lovely.

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  17. I love that song so much. And as far as "back to normal" goes, I don't think I was ever normal to begin with and I'm okay with that. :) Great post.

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  18. I like to think about my life as being a program of action. I have to do something in order to get something in return.

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  19. I, too, have been one acquainted with the night, Indigo. I know well the darkness of life and of the human heart. And I too reserve it for places other than my blog, where I try to let in as much sunshine as I can because I know that there is only so much darkness I want to burden others with.

    I think you and I are cut from a similar cloth.

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  20. "willing to delve into the frightening in order to discover the beauty hidden within the repulsive"
    YES!! Years ago, my then-toddler boy introduced me to the beauty of insects. The icky became a world of beauty and wonder for the whole family.

    I'm with Russ on the book Cruddy by Lynda Barry. Fantastic book!
    --Cin

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  21. Indigo, beautiful, as always. And I love that song.
    Hugs,
    Belinda
    http://thehalfwaypoint.net/

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  22. ...I have a head full of broken, startling, horrid characters roaming about. They keep company with resilient, strong beautiful spirits. It’s an uneasy balance of both. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Such is life.


    And so it is, Indy. So it is.

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  23. I love this post! Wow. totally thought provoking!

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  24. I like your header. I think it is different then the last time I was here.

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  25. Indigo, all of the characters in all of my stories, even the evil ones, are happier than I. How can that be? I live in the dark side of reality, why should I write about it. Will it cast light? If so few read what I write am I writing for the wind.

    I, of the broken wings, keep trying to fly.

    While those, of the healthy wings, are passing me by.

    DB

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  26. I love that song and I love how you described this. When you are willing to go into that dark space it can bring you some miraculous insights. Everyone is creating their own reality anyway, why not do it consciously?

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  27. There is no depth without that darkness. No life, really.

    It's been too too long Indigo. You sound well. I'll not leave it this long again.

    xo
    erin

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  28. Beautifully stated! I like your way of expression.

    Found you through Wendy from NYC. Like your blog. :)

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  29. Love this.

    And I love that song. The Beatles rock.

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  30. Awesome post - thank you for sharing this!

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  31. Just sending love, Indigo.

    Reality sucks.

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  32. I like that you say "I wouldn't have it any other way." There have been people in my life who saw my mental landscape as unnecessarily dark, and tried to convince me to evict the broken characters that you speak of. I really believe that I can find gratitude and serenity without having to resort to a monochromatic view of life. There often is beauty in the repulsive like you say.

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Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.