Thursday, April 21, 2011

Shattered Perception

“Writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some under culture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”- Don Delillo

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The following words are visceral. I never had any rationale to be anything else in my writing; there is no portent here or animosity. My words are simply ‘dipped heavily in reality’.

Many of my long time readers have assumed I’m writing a memoir. I’m not. Thousands of tear-your-heart-out stories arrive in ink on any given day. So many…I’m only one. Truth be told, I want my words in any format to be what draws my readers in - not compassion or pity (a germane consideration). Not unlike any other writer, I want my lexis alone to carry weight, to sustain someone’s thirst for reading.

So what exactly am I writing? Ah, the boxed perception - choose one over another. Why not explore? I’ve proven my ability on a poetic level. Would it surprise you to learn I can play rather well in the horror field? Before you wander away, claiming I’m taking you down a road you won’t tread, hear me out.

I read horror, suspense, thrillers (other genres). I have this innate ability to recognize the monsters parading around in human guise (life lessons). Every one of us has a base fear; one or more things that curdle our stomach, fears which crawl beneath the skin like an itch they can’t scratch. Ignoring the itch won’t make it stop nor halt the fear. Why does it scare us so much, is there more reality and suffrage in view within the horrifying than anything else?

I find fear, pain, sorrow; all give way to opposing emotions, courage, compassion, hope. I won’t draw a line through any human being or life experience. All of what you perceive, the ugly demographic to the beautiful poetic go hand in hand. We short sight ourselves when we refuse to acknowledge far more emotional baggage exist in one form or another in our lives. How would you know to love, if not having seen hate in all it’s nefarious philandering? Hope without having lost something to want for, or fear without having been frightened.

Yes, it is a very delicate balance beam to foray. We’ve witnessed what happens when someone crosses a line and becomes destructive, hateful, and murderous. The question is would you recognize the beauty in your life if you had not been aware of the revolting?

A friend of mine said to me today, “People obsess about the outline, but can’t be bothered to color inside the lines.” She’s right. We obsess with our happily ever after and never quite appreciate the darker aspects we trespass on the journey. Life is a multi-facet compromise made of a colorful humanity. There is no black and white drawn ideology. We can draw in, outside, over the lines if we so choose.

Some people might be amazed to discover Edgar Allan Poe had a bounty of gorgeous sentiments penned on love. You didn’t know that? A fine example of viewing only one aspect of someone’s writing.

Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” We can’t - I won’t overlook the scars in all their horrifying detail in my writing. The trick is to find the beauty in the wreckage while still aware of the broken pieces left lying about… I can give you numerous examples; all you need to do is examine your own lives to see instances of where the horrifying touched down. Our lives are shattered perceptions in which we traverse words between the poetic to the horrendous. You can’t dip your pen in one without experiencing the other.

We are all books that need to be read at a deeper level, savored between pages, breathings of words defining heart and soul; from the bitter ugly truth and depths of cruelty, to the exquisite magnificence of unfound beauty. I’ll continue to slice a vein and bleed all over the page – reality is horrifyingly frightening amid the splendor.
- Indigo

Picture Can Be Found Here

33 comments:

  1. This was a very brilliant blog post! I am surely inspired right now, especially since I am currently writing a short horror story at the moment!

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  2. I love reading blog posts like this that let me see a little inside the head of a fellow writer because it shows me how much I have in common with them. Oy...we are a tormented bunch aren't we?

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  3. "The question is would you recognize the beauty in your life if you had not been aware of the revolting?" I can't say for certain what life would have been like absent the revolting, but I can say my experiences with that have led me to appreciate all the more the myriad beauties around me. In the human experience, physically and otherwise, darkness is just the way of things if there's no light for contrast . . . and vice versa.

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  4. I related to this post and you put into words something I've always felt.

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  5. I can agree with almost everything you wrote Indigo, but the fear thing. Nope none that I recognize crawling around under the skin. In my world that is the most useless portion of humanity.

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  6. I;'m reading a book right now called "Room" -- it may be one of the most mazing things I've ever encountered!
    xx
    Russ

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  7. lol you already wrote a memoir here on the blogger- i love a good suspense/ true crime story, like what ann rule writes. i can see you doing something in that genre too.

    xxalainaxx

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  9. Well said, Writer. Best of luck as you charge ahead and seek the beauty in the wreckage. Keep me in the loop. Peace, LL

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  10. I agree beautiful Indigo. I love your book. The binding, the gilded pages, the words, and spaces between the words. Love especially..."How would you know to love, if not having seen hate in all it’s nefarious philandering? Hope without having lost something to want for, or fear without having been frightened." Indeed!!!! And your Pickles looks like a twin to my Tootsie. Poor girl with her gray beard :)

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  11. Slice and bleed! Wait, take this quill....then you just have to jab yourself, over and over. [kidding]
    Write on, Indigo. And let me know when your first horror novel hits the ground! I will be curious to see who and what will populate your fiction. I have a thriller on the very back of the stove, gently shrivelling; everything comes out poems these days. Which is great - I didn't like writing all that dark stuff anyway. Reading it, sure; writing it, gives me nightmares.

    Good to see you up and running here -
    Peter

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  12. I love your way with words Indigo. You always make me want to be better and give me the hope that one day I will be.

    I worry I'm a bit of a coward at times with my writing. I do love my happy endings! :)

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  13. "We obsess with our happily ever after and never quite appreciate the darker aspects we trespass on the journey. Life is a multi-facet compromise made of a colorful humanity. There is no black and white drawn ideology. We can draw in, outside, over the lines if we so choose."

    I LOVE this. I so NEEDED to read this today!

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  14. You are, as always, amazing.

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  15. Your writing feels like my un-silent shadow. I never stray far, for fear that I will miss something cool to read.

    Its as though you've always been here, for me, in the background, but your words shove forth. I always love it.

    thanks ~ sarah

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  16. It is a fine line between good and bad, love and obsession, light and dark, right and wrong. I think you will have an awesome book.

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  17. Over the years I've found some of your blogging to be memoir, some mom-oir, a few outre entries, still others persuasive activism, cultural ed., eclectic, even ecliptic at times. One entry will be Lewis Carrollesque, another more Germaine Greer--but never Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm ;-o.

    You can write whatever you set your mind to, judging from your blogs. ~Mary

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  18. I didn't think I had time to read this today, then I realized I didn't have the time not to.

    "The trick is to find the beauty in the wreckage while still aware of the broken pieces left lying about ..."

    That's just right. It's a creative process, continuously trying to put it all together. Walking forward via controlled falling.

    Thank you!

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  19. I can tell your words involve a cleansing process arising out of the grit of every day experience and feeling. Within the struggle lies the capacity for joy.

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  20. Just smack me if I forget to color inside those lines!

    Stunning post, Indigo. Thank you.

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  21. Well said! ALL OF IT!!! Love this post! I'm struggling at the moment to embrace the dark side of my lives now. will keep your words close to my heart for I know the beauty and the ugly are truly woven together...Hugz!

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  22. Wow Indigo. That was so great (and so true). You have to have the bad to understand the good. So well said. (And I never knew that about Poe. Very cool.)

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  23. Love this post, Indigo.

    No matter what genre we write in, we need to face the dark and the horrifying. That's how a vibrant story comes into being.

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  24. Brilliant post! Dipping into your emotions can leave your writing coated in a sheen of emotions that will ring true to readers.

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  25. Love it. You can't have dark without the light, and you cannot have beauty without scars.

    I think every little bit of our lives leads us to who we are and there's nothing we should try to change, no matter how tragic.

    beautiful post, Indigo.

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  26. Awesome. I write horror and I also write children's books. They all come from the same fountain for me. Thanks for sharing.

    Scott Nicholson

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  27. I had to smile as I read your words...

    distilled and much less ellegant than your choice of words...
    it's ALL related.

    Most importantly, something that I've believed for as long as I can remember...

    It's not whether you believe that you are able to think "outside of the box"...

    ...it's being able to adopt the belief that

    THERE IS NO BOX!
    :-)

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  28. You're preaching to the choir, my friend!

    I have a definite morbid bent...I'm fascinated by the macabre. But you know me well enough to see that I have a very optimistic personality, and am generally a cheery person. Perhaps finding the balance results in a more fulfilled life...? If I find out, I'll let you know! Hugs, Beth

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  29. great post. yes, the darker side of humanity, that's the stuff worth plumbing. great writers are those that can tread the gorgeous and ephermeral and the dark and treacherous. you must be a great writer ;^) peace...

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Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.