Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Words Inside Us All

"I have hardly anything in common with myself and should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe." Franz Kafka - Diaries (1914)

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Words from the poem Cut While Shaving, by Charles Bukowski

They whisper and taunt non-stop, these words buried deep. I should share them, dig those buried treasures up and smear them haphazard across a page and call it writing or prose or art. After all, isn’t that what a writer of any caliber does? We bludgeon ourselves on the sharp edges of knowledge, word playing our way into a facsimile of pretending to know what we meant to say. We tend to be either goal oriented or self-saboteurs, one dominating the other word for word.

Take heart, it’s not only writers who tend to be so effusive. Life itself constitutes a palindrome of excuses for living the way we do, backhanded by time constraints and overwhelming expectations.

I’m greedy with my words of late with too much emotional expense hidden in each paraphrase, in the art of silence, and living. Oh, I have words a plenty. The latent ability of deciphering those cruel paradoxes is the silencer. I smirk at the thief of lost hours and word verbiage, howling with the pups in their own language, watching summer collapse into fall, greedy unto myself.

And yet, I feel the tendrils holding back the bank of what needs to be said, breaking, one strand at a time. Old haunts, health, and the pain of simply being can overwhelm a chaotic psyche. Words tormented Charles Bukowski to no end, the genius is, he loved every single second of his torture. Even so, he shared those inside words with the world. I can’t help thinking that it’s possible to have too much living between the words. Too much life, too much of everything, to the point we don’t starve enough to explore deeper than where we are.

When those predilection words finally escape, the direction we were headed changes, the well becomes empty and we thirst for more. Words are meant to be shared. They don’t abandon us; these elusive words sustain us until we are ripe for living. I am the epitome of every single word I’ve ever written. So in the end, maybe it’s not the words I’m unwilling to share, but me. Yet, I’m the whole of every single utterance, occurrence, and emotion bestowed on me in a single day; all of which are alive with the voices of nature, urban decay, and personalities not my own. Words belong to no-one, to everyone. We only own the format in which we understand and share those vocal letters. ~ Indigo

Lifedance

The area dividing the brain and the soul
is affected in many ways by
experience -
Some lose all mind and become soul:
insane.
Some lose all soul and become mind:
intellectual.
Some lose both and become:
accepted.

Charles Bukowski




41 comments:

  1. For me, I starve too much and that's when the words dry up. It's when I'm sated to the point of bursting, that the words flow. Living too little, is a curse too x

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    1. I agree Diana, living too little can be a curse. More than anything, I need to remember the pleasure I derive from penning all those myriad moments of living. (Hugs) Indy

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  2. Whoa...no, wait...I didn't read what I just read...oh yes I did...what a discovery to find you...such a rare talent--and so early in the morning to boot!

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    1. Thank you Tim! It's a pleasure to have you among my followers. (Hugs)Indy

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  3. I stare at blank pages quite often because I'm not ready...I'm missing something integral to what I have to say or what needs to be said. It is not until I'm fully ready that the words flow freely. The dam opens, the deluge spills forth, and I ride it to the end. I love the opening Kafka quote.

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    1. I'm the same way Michael. I've heard of writer's leaving a blank line in place of the missing pieces to come back to later. I find this baffling. I can't move forward, nor imagine the next sequence in what needs to be written until I have a clear view in my head.

      Strange enough, I'm a pantser when it comes to writing. You would think otherwise with my obsession to form the right words in a certain order. (Hugs) Indy

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  4. You have spoken so eloquently of my own journey with words. You are such a talented treasure.

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    1. Thank you Susie! All too often I forget the pure pleasure of writing.(Hugs) Indy

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  6. i love buk. he gives me hope. and i will take accepted any day....an intriguing thought too on not starving enough...not respecting the words or where they come from....

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    1. I've always loved Bukowski's outlook on life. There is a raw gritty reality to what he has to say. "Not respecting the words or where they come from.", I'm so guilty of this. It's pure grace they still haunt me. (Hugs) Indy

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    2. ha. there are days i wish they didnt...like last night waking me up in the middle of the night to write out two lines...i was afraid i would lose them if i didnt...i've learned to keep a notebook by the bed...and to write in the dark....

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  7. It was such a delight to see a comment from you on my blog today. Sooooo good to hear from you again, and to know you are still there... and still writing. You still have such a beautiful voice, such an eloquent way of expressing things that make the rest of us nod and ache at the pure truth that resonates in your words. Never ever ever stop writing. You should... you must... be published. (Hugs)

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    1. Thank you Susan! I enjoyed getting a chance to visit your blog. I'm working on the getting published part. (Hugs)Indigo

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  8. I've lost my words lately, but you found them, here. I relate to everything you (so beautifully) wrote.

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    1. Sometimes the simply reminders lead us back home again. Nice to hear from you sweet friend. (Hugs)Indy

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  9. "I can’t help thinking that it’s possible to have too much living between the words. Too much life, too much of everything, to the point we don’t starve enough to explore deeper than where we are."

    pretty darn profound, this observation.

    i write too. i've learned to discipline myself to write. maybe because i've been wrestling my second book for three plus years, but i'm prepared to settle for the best words i can offer. not the best possible, just the best from me. I don't mind wordsmithing and looking looking for the right (better) verb, striking out the adverbs and adjectives, even trying to show don't tell

    but i don't think i'm as hard on myself as i think you may be with yourself. you are a good writer, a fine writer. why not just let it be and write?

    love
    kj

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    1. I know I'm too hard on myself kj, and I truly am trying to be kinder to me. For a while I forgot to write for me first and foremost. Thanks for your kind words. (Hugs) Indy

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  10. I’m greedy with my words of late with too much emotional expense hidden in each paraphrase, in the art of silence, and living.

    I really loved that line most, Indy... I feel as though I identify with those very words at this very instant most of all...

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    1. Mark,

      I think sometimes we have to hold things back, precious things that are ours and ours alone. We share so much with the world, we need to remember to keep some treasures for ourselves. (Hugs) Indy

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  11. You inspire me. Every time I come here there's a life lesson. I needed this right now. =) Thank you for your kind words on my blog.

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    1. Your welcome sweet friend. I think I garner just as many life lessons. Sometimes I don't even realize there is one, until I've emptied my soul. (Hugs)Indigo

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  12. Hi Indigo,

    This post is absolutely beautiful and very thought-provoking. Your words speak so loudly and deep inside the soul. Definitely beautiful life lessons!

    Jaime
    www.jaimelovesstuff.com

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    1. Thanks Jamie! I truly hope the well of words continue to flow from deep within my soul. (Hugs)Indigo

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  13. Words that come from places so deep we are not aware of them--those are the words that evoke responses in others and connect our minds and our souls. Beautifully expressed, Indigo.

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    1. Thank you, sweet friend! (Hugs)Indigo

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  14. A beautiful post, Indigo. Especially this: "Words belong to no-one, to everyone."

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    1. Thanks Lydia! May we continue to master words in our own unique ways. (Hugs)Indigo

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  15. Your writing is beautiful. Have you published any books?

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    1. Thanks Vanessa! I'm working on finishing my current WIP and hope to have it ready to market by the end of the year at the latest. It's been a long time in coming. (Hugs) Indigo

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  16. back-handed by time constraints, howling with pups in their own language. i really enjoyed this meaty read, bookended by bukowski. i ultimately think words indicate education, and education ought to get people in touch with alternative thoughts and concepts and ultimately a better way to live. words are it!:)

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    1. Words are definitely it! (Hugs)Indigo

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  17. What a thought provoking piece. I love and struggle with words too, and this really resonates with me. Thank you Indigo.

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    1. Thanks Mary! As much as I struggle at times, I wouldn't have it any other way. (Hugs)Indigo

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  18. Beautiful post, Indigo! We writers/readers can definitely all relate.

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  19. I don't think words will ever leave us, they will be there to torment us or even to sway us to another direction ~ An excellent quote from Charles B. ~

    Well it has been some time, nice to see you ~

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  20. Words are so powerful. This is a wonderful post that got me thinking.

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  21. "I am the epitome of every single word I've ever written". Wow. I wish I could say as much. You've given me quite a goal to strive for.

    But then, you always have.

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  22. This was beautiful and I felt the words. Good job.

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  23. Oh, I never think of you being greedy with your words. We all need a break now and then, and I am always thrilled to read your thoughts when they appear. I"m guilty of dragging my butt lately - finally finished wrapping up my Father's Estate, though (almost been 2 years). Guess my writing has taken a back seat to commitments. *sigh*

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Thank you for giving my silence a voice, my muse your words, and taking the time to discover my prose.